Noob's Guide To Euro 2024: Whom To Support To Impress Your Football-Mad Partner

If you happen to be dating a football fanatic, you'll notice them staying up recently to catch games at ungodly hours. That's because Euro 2024 (not to be confused with the World Cup) is in full swing right now in Germany. It features 24 of the best European footballing nations vying to be the champions of the continent.

Now that the group stages of the competition have concluded, the usual suspects such as England, France, Italy, and host nation Germany are poised to qualify for the next round. It's not too late to jump on the bandwagon, even if you haven't kept up to date with Euro 2024.

International tournaments usually attract curious non-football fans but if you really want to impress your football kaki or partner, here's the lowdown on every major country still in the running:

England

Star player: Jude Bellingham

Support this team if: You can relate to being in a toxic situationship. The English national team is, of course, immensely popular here in Singapore thanks to the English Premier League. While we're used to the likes of Manchester City, Liverpool, and Arsenal winning championships, it hasn't been smooth sailing for the Three Lions.

In fact, England hasn't won a World Cup since 1966 (let that sink in for a minute), and the closest they've come to European glory was as runners-up in the last tournament in 2021. Simply put, this squad is always destined to be the bridesmaid and never the bride.

Despite their poor record, fans continue to be deluded, declaring that this will finally be the year that “football is coming home”. (Your partner might even be guilty of falling for the hype.) Don’t get me wrong; they do have a world-class squad led by a young Real Madrid phenom in Jude Bellingham and Bayern Munich marksman Harry Kane. But if their insipid performance in the group stage is anything to go by (one win and two draws), perhaps it’s best that English fans stick to their club football instead.

Chances of winning the Euros: 2 out 5 fish and chips.

Germany

Star player: Toni Kroos

Support this team if: You prefer the safe option. Germany is traditionally one of the powerhouses of European football, and they usually perform well in big tournaments. They've won the World Cup four times and the Euros thrice. If nothing else, you can always count on them to at least make the knockout stages. So far, they've thrashed Scotland 5-1, defeated Hungary 2-0, and salvaged a last-minute equaliser against Switzerland to top their group.

With a great mix of veteran players, youngsters and stars who are about to enter their prime, you know that you will at least not be paiseh to lend your support to the mighty Germans. Also, their legendary midfielder Toni Kroos has announced that he will be retiring after the tournament. And the fact that the Euros are taking place in his country makes the home team sentimental favourites by default.

Chances of winning the Euros: 4 out of 5 schnitzels

Spain

Star player: Lamine Yamal

Support this team if: You are a Gen Z and below. You are too young to appreciate Ronaldo but think Mbappe is overrated. Why not support the youthful exuberance of the Spanish national team. Powered by a pair of wonderboys – Nico Williams, 21, and Lamine Yamal, only 16 – they’re bringing a flair to the competition that has seen them go undefeated so far.

A generation ago, Spain was a team of world beaters, boasting talents such as Xavi, Andres Iniesta and Fernando Torres (when he was still good). They dominated international football for a longtime before entering a sort of slump in the mid- to late-2010s. This tournament might come a bit too soon for the youngsters, but it seems like they are on the cusp of greatness, so who knows, they might be dark horses to win the whole thing.

Chances of winning Euro 2024: 3 out of 5 tortillas

Portugal

Star player: Cristiano Ronaldo

Support this team if: The only footballer name you recognise is Cristiano Ronaldo. Perhaps you are forced to support Manchester United because your partner is a diehard Red Devil. Despite CR7’s presence, Portugal is so much more than their talisman. They are a fairly balanced squad with proven winners such as Manchester City’s Bernardo Silva and AC Milan’s Rafael Leao. They even recently won Euro 2016.

With Ronaldo pushing 40 years old, this could be his last chance to win silverware with his country. You know this will give ample motivation for the squad to deliver for their captain.

Chances of winning Euro 2024: 3 out of 5 balcahaus

Netherlands

Star player: Virgil Van Dijk

Support this team if: You love a good hipster’s choice. There is no country more fitting of that description than the Dutch. One of the sleeping giants of European football, Holland last won the Euros in 1988. Their talent is undeniable with the Liverpool trio, Virgil Van Dijk, Cody Gakpo and Ryan Gravenberch among the star names.

However, they can be prone to the occasional upset. In their most recent match, they suffered a surprise 3-2 loss to Austria. You can’t complain about the Netherlands being boring to support. They might just surprise a few people when all is said and done.

Chances of winning Euro 2024: 2 out of 5 stamppots

Belgium

Star player: Kevin De Bruyne

Support this team if: You want to support an underrated choice in the tournament. Belgium possess a Golden Generation of players who are about to leave their prime. This is the last chance for these players (i.e. Kevin De Bruyne from Manchester City and Romelu Lukaku from Chelsea) to win a major trophy. The now-or-never narrative can be very appealing for neutrals.

Chances of winning the Euros: 2 out of 5 Belgian waffles

Turkey

Star player: Arda Güler

Support this team if: You didn’t even realise that Turkey is part of Europe. Fun fact: they are! Let’s be honest, they are not winning the competition. But if you are gravitating towards a more exotic choice, they do still have some quality in their team (e.g. highly-valued youngster Arda Güler, who plays for Spanish giants Real Madrid).

Chances of winning the Euros: 1 out 5 Turkish delights

Switzerland

Star player: Granit Xhaka

Support this team if: You are neutral and don’t want to play favourites. Nothing embodies balance and fairness like the Swiss. They are typically underdogs but somehow end up punching way above their weight. They somehow managed to draw with Scotland and Germany, even after the Germans humiliated the Scots in the opening match. They then proceeded to knock Italy out of the tournament. Tells you all you need to know about supporting them.

Chances of winning the Euros: 3 out of 5 Swiss rolls

France

Star player: Kylian Mbappe

Support this team if: You are a bandwagon supporter. You only want to support a sure-fire winner. While we can’t guarantee anything in football, France boasts one of the best players in the world – Kylian Mbappe. However, you will probably risk the ire and eye rolls of your partner, who may accuse you of being predictable and lame.

But Les Bleus do play an exciting and stylish brand of attacking football, so at least we can promise the games will be exciting.

Chances of winning the Euros: 4 out of 5 croissants

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